Written by Nicole Moran, SN-NL coordinator and Birth Doula
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is any behavior within an intimate relationship where one partner seeks to gain or maintain power and control over the other through harmful actions. IPV can occur in dating, cohabiting, or married relationships and affects individuals of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. IPV has many faces, with some behaviours being more commonly recognised as violence than others. Let’s break down the different types of IPV and learn how to spot them.
Physical abuse is often the first type of IPV that people think of, as it is the most visible. It involves any form of physical harm, physical restraint, or damaging a person’s belongings.
Emotional abuse targets a person’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. It’s more subtle than physical abuse, but its effects can be just as harmful. Emotional abuse can include insults, name-calling, or constant criticism; manipulating someone to feel guilty or ashamed; and gaslighting, where the abuser makes their partner question their memory, perception, or reality.
Sexual abuse occurs when one partner forces or coerces the other into unwanted sexual activity. This includes rape or unwanted touching; pressuring someone into sexual acts they’re uncomfortable with; and reproductive coercion, such as sabotaging birth control or forcing decisions about pregnancy.
Financial abuse occurs when one partner controls the other’s access to money or resources. This might include taking their earnings, preventing them from working, or restricting how they spend money. Financial abuse can trap someone in an abusive relationship, making it harder to leave.
IPV can also occur online. This can include checking social media accounts and emails, reading personal messages, tracking their location through social media (such as Snap Map) and sharing intimate photos without their consent, this is known as intimate image abuse or revenge porn.
Recognising the different forms of IPV as equally harmful is important in order to educate people about safe and healthy relationships. Healthy relationships should make you feel safe, respected, and valued—not controlled or afraid. The “Too into you” campaign highlights some common red flags that can alert people to unhealthy and abusive behaviours and you can check them out here. They have also developed a relationship quiz that people can take to see if they are in a healthy relationship.
The Too Into You Campaign by Women’s Aid is dedicated to educating young people (18–25, especially young women) about intimate relationship abuse, including emotional, physical, sexual, financial, and digital abuse. This includes running awareness campaigns to educate people on identifying red flags in relationships. The campaign highlights healthy versus unhealthy relationship dynamics and offers resources like an instant messaging support service and a relationship quiz. In 2020 and 2021, Women’s Aid, in collaboration with RedC, also conducted research on abuse in Ireland.
Brook is the UK’s only national voluntary sector provider of free and confidential sexual health advice and services tailored for young people under 25. They operate clinics nationwide, offering support for all ages and providing outreach education for youth and training for professionals. Their “Find A Service” tool connects users with clinical services in England, alongside information on resources in Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. Brook is dedicated to promoting accessible sexual health and wellbeing services across the UK.
Love is Respect, a project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline based in the U.S., provides 24/7 confidential support for young people aged 13–26 concerned about romantic relationships. They also assist friends, family, and educators via phone, text, and live chat. Their resources include interactive tools, quizzes, and educational materials aimed at helping young people foster healthy relationships and recognize signs of abuse. They offer training and curriculum for educators and service providers, creating an inclusive space for learning and advocacy.
The Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, illustrates the tactics abusive partners use to maintain control in a relationship. Its inner ring depicts subtle, ongoing behaviors, while the outer ring highlights physical and sexual violence. It is a widely recognized tool for understanding the dynamics of dating abuse and the intersection of coercive tactics with direct violence.
Developed by Love is Respect, the interactive Relationship Spectrum tool helps users evaluate scenarios as healthy, unhealthy, or abusive, offering insights into their own relationships. Relationships fall on a spectrum from healthy to abusive, with unhealthy behaviors in between. Recognizing warning signs of abuse is critical. Click here for the interactive quiz: https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/relationship-spectrum-quiz/?%3E
